Single Fathers and Co-Parenting: A Blueprint for Success

As your guide for navigating single fatherhood and co-parenting post-divorce I bring you an episode that promises to change the way you perceive life after divorce. Brace yourself, as we steer through the often-unexplored terrain of creating a strategic plan for parenting that can keep you focused, accountable, and positive.

In this insightful conversation, we'll redefine the art of independent fatherhood. Drawing from personal experiences, I'll share the importance of establishing a clear vision for your post-divorce life, especially in terms of co-parenting. We'll address the challenges of managing new financial realities, maintaining physical and mental health, and processing grief post-divorce. 

Offering practical advice and expert insights, this episode is designed to empower you with a living document that will guide you through different circumstances and hold you accountable to your ideals. Tune in to this thought-provoking episode and discover how to navigate single fatherhood with confidence. 

Don't forget to check out the show notes for a downloadable document that you can use to create your personal plan.

See what Jay is up to at Jay Rush Coaching!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hey guys, welcome to the Art of Independent Fatherhood, the podcast dedicated to empowering and guiding single dads on their unique journey. Join me, certified coach Jay Rush, as I explore the challenges and triumphs of independent fatherhood, offering practical advice, real stories and expert insights to help you navigate single fatherhood with confidence. Hey, good morning you guys. So I am recording from my office in Central Colorado. I just got home from dropping my son my six and a half year old son off at his second day of first grade. Yesterday was the first day Wild success, none of the clinginess that we experienced during kindergarten. That was also, conversely, the first year of separation and divorce, so we were co-parenting at that point. It was a little bit challenging then, but now it's not as bad, and I attribute that to the topic that I want to discuss today, and that is the idea of making a plan for co-parenting and single fatherhood post-divorce and separation. So listen in, let's go. Today we're going to talk about something that's really fundamental to the fatherhood experience post-divorce and separation, and that is the idea of creating a plan and a vision around what we want our life to look like as far as what kind of a co-parent we want to be, what kind of lifestyle we want to lead and, most importantly, how we want to show up for our children. So yeah, let's dive right into it. Here's the deal. Most men don't have a plan for truly intentional living post-divorce and separation. Some show up with an idea in their heads, some do not, but what's missing is a truly intentional plan and structure and maybe even a system that defines a vision for how your life is supposed to look post-divorce. And the reason this is so important is because it will keep you accountable to how you want to behave, it'll keep you intentional and it'll keep you within the lines in terms of how you want to co-parent. Do you want a positive co-parenting relationship and dynamic? It doesn't really matter what the other parent is doing. I just want to allude to that. This will be a topic of a future podcast. But we hold ourselves accountable, we worry about ourselves, we establish standards that we adhere to, no matter what the other person is doing, and this is part of the plan.

Speaker 1: 2:46

How do I want a co-parent? How do I want to process grief Because the end of a relationship, the end of a marriage, a divorce, the separation of children and marital assets and money and geographic distance, moving into a new home, all those things are traumatic events, whether or not guys you want to admit it or not. Guys are very good at hiding from those feelings, but I'm here to tell you that's not the way. You can talk about that, too. How do you want to be present for your children? When you write it down, when you create a document, like a living document that you would have to adhere to and be accountable to, you can tell yourself this is how I want to show up every day. This is how I want to be present. This is the higher ideal. This is the better version of myself. How do you want to manage your new financial reality? How do you want to live a healthy life? This is so important.

Speaker 1: 3:43

What's funny about that is all the other things co-parenting, processing grief, being present with your kids, having the wherewithal to manage your finances and your new reality are based on your ability to live a healthy life, not just healthy in terms of physical health, but also your mental health. What are your strategies or what are your intentions around alcohol and drug use? What are your intentions around nutrition? What are your routines for sleep and sleep hygiene? What is your exercise regimen? What is your intention behind that, what are your goals?

Speaker 1: 4:17

All of these things can be written into a living document, a structured document, so that at any time you can refer back to it. You can tape it to your wall or your mirror, or you can keep it on your phone. But basically, anytime you run into rough spots, anytime there's friction or trouble, you can look back on that and say, oh, okay, I didn't do this and this was the result. Or you can say, hey, something big is coming up, I have a meeting with my co-parent, I have to go to court, the kids are coming for the week, whatever. And you can say, okay, what do I have written down about this circumstance, how do I want to act, how do I want to behave, how do I want to feel, what do I want the experience to be? And you hold yourself in alignment to these ideals. If you have a body of work to refer to when things are tough, uncertain or overwhelming, you can stay on track through what is arguably the toughest time of your life. So I'm going to end with that and I'm going to tell you this Attached to the show notes for today's episode is an actual document where you can create that plan. Just go and download it and do the work. I promise you that this will take so much weight off of your mind when you're worrying about everything else.

Speaker 1: 5:28

If you're listening to this and you're not an independent dad, a single dad about to be divorced or separated, share it with somebody you know who's going through a hard time. They need this structure, they need this direction, they need these tools and resources. Trust me, I don't know where this exists outside of this podcast, so please share generously. That's it for this week. You can message me on Instagram at Jay Davies Rush. You can email me at Jay at JayRushCoachingcom.

Speaker 1: 5:58

Feel free to reach out, ask me any questions. Ask me to answer some questions on a future podcast. Let me know where you're struggling. Let me know how I can help out. Let's take care of each other. Single dads this is the art of independent fatherhood. We got this. That's it for today's episode. Hey, did you know that I work with 101 clients? Did you know that I offer group coaching? Go ahead and go to my website and go to the page labeled how to Work With Me, and you'll find all the details there. You can also send me an email or you can sign up for a free discovery call. Finally, you can follow me on Instagram at Jay Davies Rush. Go ahead and send me a message. Tell me what questions you have or what topics you'd like to discuss on the next podcast.