Navigating Sleep Anxiety: A Journey for Single Dads

Picture this: it's 2am, you're wide awake, your mind's racing, and all you want is a good night's sleep. Sound familiar? As a single dad, there's no question that life's pressures often keep us up at night, but what if I told you there are tangible ways to tackle this problem? Join me, Jay Rush, in a candid discussion about the crucial role sleep plays in our lives, and how our incessant need for control and certainty may be the very thing robbing us of precious rest.

We'll tiptoe into the territory of sleep hygiene, where I'll share some of my most effective strategies for improving sleep quality. From creating a calming pre-bedtime routine, to incorporating meditation, limiting electronic use, and even utilizing sleep aids - we'll discuss it all. But it doesn't stop there. We'll delve deeper into those middle-of-the-night anxiety bouts and I'll share one of my go-to strategies. So, fellow single dads, let's embark on this journey together, to better sleep, healthier lives, and happier independent fatherhood. Don’t forget to tune in!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hey guys, welcome to the Art of Independent Fatherhood, the podcast dedicated to empowering and guiding single dads on their unique journey. Join me, certified coach Jay Rush, as I explore the challenges and triumphs of independent fatherhood, offering practical advice, real stories and expert insights to help you navigate single fatherhood with confidence. What is going on? Single dad nation? I don't know if I like the sound of that. How about independent fatherhood nation? I guess that underlines the fact that more people are getting divorced than ever and there are more dads taking on the co-parenting role, which is not a bad thing. If you're talking about leaning into challenges, I think that's okay, but what I want to talk to you about today is something a little bit different. That's the idea of sleep quality.

Speaker 1: 0:56

I had a discussion I was a guest on a podcast with my friend and my coach and mentor, dave Moreno. That was this morning. One of the themes that came up was the idea of sleep quality, sleep hygiene, being able to sleep at night. I started thinking about what is it that gets in the way of my ability to sleep? One thing that really stands out is when my mind is racing. That forced me to go a little bit deeper and question why my mind races, why I'm laying in bed at night at two o'clock in the morning or three o'clock in the morning. All these anxious thoughts are bombarding me and I can't seem to go to sleep and I've got heart palpitations and I'm sweating and I'm pissed off and I'm worried about the next morning when I'm going to be exhausted.

Speaker 1: 1:43

Here's what I think is a huge part of the problem is that when we are not able to sleep, we have a monologue in our heads that is basically a constant chatter of all of the things that we want to control. This stems from a need to have certainty in our lives. That's where the need for control comes from. This is an open door. This is an opportunity to check in and get insight. Do you have a narrative that tells you that your life should look differently than it does now? If so, what elements of your life are you trying to control that may be outside of the realm of your control? What are things that you could let go of or you could see control to, or you could just let happen without having to worry about them? When we are worried that our lives are not going the right way, we will do everything we can to contort ourselves to that narrative. It's so important that we stop and check in. The best way to do that is to recognize when you're in that thought pattern, when you're in that narrative, when you are in that mindset, then all the alarms are going off. You see red, you're not sleeping, you're stressed out. This is always because we think things should be different.

Speaker 1: 2:58

I'm willing to guess that 90% of the time if you can't sleep, it's because you're worried. You have thoughts in your brain. You've got a bunch of solutions and problems floating around in there and competing, and it's not giving you space to fall asleep. One strategy that I use really effectively to cure that actually two strategies. One is start examining your sleep hygiene how you prepare for bed, where your electronics are. Do you have do not disturb on do you have some time to tone down and calm down before bed? Do you have a meditation practice? Do you drink some sort of nighttime tea? Do you have a sleep aid?

Speaker 1: 3:30

Then, finally, when you wake up at two or three in the morning with anxiety, as I often do or have, one of the best strategies I can recommend is getting a journal, a notebook, waking up, turning on a lamp or going into a room where you're not going to disturb anybody. Get that pen, write down the problems as you perceive them, write down the solutions to them, look at them and say, okay, there's nothing more I can do at 3am in the morning, so let's put this to rest. And then put yourself to rest, get the sleep you need, because that's going to create the bandwidth and the energy to actually solve those problems in the future. But it's also going to give you the mental clarity to understand that not everything is a problem and not everything is within your control. And even if it is not, everything has to be controlled.

Speaker 1: 4:19

Let's start exploring some grace and some ease and some going with the flow, guys, all right, have a great weekend. That's all I have for you. Love you. That's it for today's episode. Hey, did you know that I work with 101 clients? Did you know that I offer group coaching? Go ahead and go to my website and go to the page labeled how to work with me, and you'll find all the details there. You can also send me an email or you can sign up for a free discovery call. Finally, you can follow me on Instagram at Jay Davies Rush. Go ahead and send me a message and tell me what questions you have or what topics you'd like to discuss on the next podcast.