Episode #26 - The Six Rules for Thriving After Divorce: 1. Embrace Your Reality

Embracing a new chapter in life can be one of the most daunting experiences, especially when it involves navigating the turbulent waters of single fatherhood post-divorce. That's the hard-hitting truth and it's the catalyst for creating the Six Pillars of Thriving After Divorce—a lifeline for dads sailing this same stormy sea. This episode peels back the layers of denial that can shroud our vision, preventing us from seeing the path to empowerment and resilience. You'll hear firsthand about the bedrock of acceptance, the very foundation that supports the journey towards healing and growth.

See what Jay is up to at Jay Rush Coaching!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hey guys, welcome to the Art of Independent Fatherhood, the podcast dedicated to empowering and guiding single dads on their unique journey. Join me, certified coach Jay Rush, as I explore the challenges and triumphs of independent fatherhood, offering practical advice, real stories and expert insights to help you navigate single fatherhood with confidence. Expert insights to help you navigate single fatherhood with confidence. Hey guys, jay Rush here with the Art of Independent Fatherhood podcast. Today I want to talk to you about the six pillars of thriving after divorce as a parent. The first pillar let's just cut right to the chase. The first pillar is best addressed through the problem. So the problem is denial. I see a lot of guys struggle with the fact that their marriage has ended and they're faced with a whole bunch of difficult circumstances. They're going to be single and co-parents now Income is halved. Maybe they've moved out of the house. Maybe they're having legal and financial woes and issues with their ex. There's also the idea that I know a lot of guys I talk to feel like they've been rejected. So there's depression around that. There's anxiety around it. A lot of guys will start using drugs and alcohol just to avoid the problem. So there's this issue of denial and denial causes all kinds of problems down the road. The solution for denial is to embrace your reality. This is the first pillar of thriving after divorce with kids. Embrace your reality acceptance. What's the benefit of this? Well, when you embrace your reality, you are able to start from a solid foundation. There's solid ground under your feet.

Speaker 1: 2:04

The hardest part for most guys to accept the fact of their divorce, though, is saying it out loud. It is so hard to accept that all those things have gone, all those things are over, that somebody doesn't love you anymore, that you have all these challenges now and you are fundamentally a good person. So what's the point of all this challenge? Well, here's the thing we have to go through hardship. We have to address hardship and face it head on.

Speaker 1: 2:32

When you deny that reality and you try to move forward with your life, it's built on a rotten foundation. Right, if anybody's in construction, you guys understand. You can't build on loamy, muddy soil. You have to get down to the bedrock. You have to get down to the bedrock. You have to get down to the hard rocks underneath, and the hard rocks underneath is the idea of accepting your objective reality, and what I like to tell people is say it out loud I'm divorced man, that's the hardest thing to ever say. I'm divorced with kids. It's even harder. I moved out of the house, I'm paying rent, I have to pay child support.

Speaker 1: 3:12

We say these things out loud and we start to say them in a way that actually makes sense, that it's empowering. Once you admit it, once you embrace it, once you say it out loud, then you can start to heal, then you can start to grieve, then you can start to rebuild your life. Hey, if you want some more insights on this, follow the link in the show notes or the footer on this podcast and that'll take you to a free resource that I've created called the Divorce Dad's Playbook the Six Essential Rules for Thriving After Divorce. Just plug your email address in there. When you do that, you'll also get a newsletter from me with a bunch of more tips, tricks and insights for surviving and thriving after divorce. Have a good day. You got this, I got your back. Take care, guys.